As a teenager, I used to blog at the end of every year with a “Song of the Year”. I’d pick a song that I felt encompassed my life, or attitude, for the entire year and explain just how, and why, in a post. I enjoyed it; I’ve never been great at expressing myself, so if I could find a song that did the work for me, it made my life easier.
This year, I’m bringing back Song of the Year. Because, as I’ve been reflecting on 2015, I realized there was one huge, overlying theme that I just couldn’t ignore. This year was the year I stopped giving a fuck.
I stopped letting myself be pushed around. If something didn’t seem right, I spoke up. I called people out on their bullshit. I refused to be taken advantage of. If problems arose, I handled them. I worked my ass off to ensure that I was staying true to myself, and living my life on my own terms.
That’s not to say that I disregarded everything or everyone. But I made my circle a hell of a lot smaller. If it didn’t directly affect me, Seth, or my family, fuck it. Life is too short to give a damn about other people and their problems, lives, and opinions.
I know, it seems callous. But this year, for the first time in my life, I lived for me. I focused on my own life, my own problems, and my own goals. The result? I grew as a person. I got to know myself better in 2015 than I ever have. And, for the first time in my life, I actually kind of like myself. I got some long-needed confidence, and gained the ability to believe in myself.
It’s great. It’s fucking wonderful. I’m happy. I’ve actually been happy for the better part of the year. I wouldn’t change that for anything.
And so, I’ve decided that 2015’s Song of the Year is the absolutely ridiculous I Don’t Fuck With You by Big Sean (ft. E 40).