It’s been quite a while since I’ve updated this blog. I mean, I did switch from WP.com to self-hosted WordPress, but that’s about it. No posts, no updates, no nothing.
It’s not as if life has been slow. I just haven’t had the oomph to write anything. Same goes for the professional blog. And my journal. I’ve just kind of been letting the days pass me by without making note of much. Such is life, I suppose.
Though, if I’m being 100% honest, I’ve been weirdly active on Snapchat. I snap almost every day. I guess it’s just because it’s an easy, impermanent way to chronicle my days. If you’re interested, you can add me.
As far as life goes, I’ve spent most of my time recently stuck to my desk. Work has been keeping me busy. I’d love to say it’s been good, too, but honestly I feel like I’m working non-stop and not seeing a huge return on my investment. I’m always doing something work related, yet I’m just barely getting by.
I mean, sure, sometimes I have $1,500 weeks.
Sometimes I have $35.00 weeks.
I guess that’s what I get for freelancing loosely. I don’t have a lot of solid contracts with the agencies I work with. As such, sometimes I work endlessly and don’t get paid until months afterwards. It’s kind of a pain in the ass, if I’m being honest. My goal after the wedding / rebranding is to establish retainers or maintenance contracts with all of my long-term clients so I don’t have to worry about that anymore.
Oh yeah, I’m rebranding. After Seth & I tie the knot, I’m getting a DBA, opening a proper “business” account, and setting myself up a bit more legitimately. I have everything planned out, and it’s one of the few things I’m actually excited about. Here’s the new logo:
When I’m not throwing myself into my work, life has been… meh. I guess I’m going through one of those periods where I don’t really feel anything. Just kind of going through the motions.
I mean, things have happened. For instance, we got a new puppy! Well, I say “new” but in reality we adopted him two months ago. His name is Harrison (after Harrison Wells, not Harrison Ford), but we call him Harry. He’s a cutie pie.
It’s weird; I don’t consider myself a dog person. But I’m crazy about this silly pup. He’s so well-behaved, though a little bit fearful. He’s always so happy to see us. And having to take him out has let me get out of the office a bit more than I used to; I’ve spent so much time outside I actually have tan lines!
He’s definitely been a blessing. A few weeks ago our family dog passed – she was nine, and it was kind of out of the blue. As a person not accustomed to loss, who doesn’t adjust well to change, it was easily one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with – I’m still not sure I’m completely “okay”. But having Harry around definitely helped.
He’s helped with the anxiety, too. And I’ve been chalk full of anxiety as of late. Between personal issues and work, nothing has felt quite right. I’m no stranger to panic attacks, but I’ve had more in the last two weeks than I’d had previously in the last two years. Waking up in the middle of the night, disoriented, feeling detached, terrified, like you’re about to drop dead is not something you ever really grow to be okay with.
Everything comes in cycles, though. I go through periods of stress and anxiety, even depression. The periods where I just want to lay in bed staring at the wall and be left completely alone. And I know that, sooner or later, the fog will lift and things will be okay again for a while.
I just wish this fog would lift sooner. It’s taking it’s damn time.