Rambling Thoughts on Abortion Access

I had to many thoughts and feelings to tweet this, or share it on my Instagram story. So I’m writing a blog post about it. I’m lucky I’m medicated. I think the draft of the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade would have sent me into a pretty big depression spiral if I wasn’t.

I’ve never had an abortion. I’ve never needed one – I’ve been pretty good at avoiding pregnancy. And where I am in my life right now, if I were to get pregnant Seth and I would just become parents. Hell, we’ve talked about starting a proper family in the future. Unless there was a medical reason to have an abortion, if I got pregnant today I’d just become a Mom.

It wasn’t always this way, though. In the summer of 2020 I had a pregnancy scare. At that point in my life I was at my lowest – extremely depressed and suicidal. I was terrified at the idea of possibly also being pregnant; bringing a child into the world given how horrible everything felt was something I couldn’t even imagine. I decided that if I was pregnant, I was going to get an abortion, and I told Seth as much. Fortunately, he supported me. We both knew that, at that moment, bringing a child into the world wasn’t something either of us could do. We were both struggling just to take care of ourselves, adding another person to the boat would have sunk the whole ship.

I didn’t end up being pregnant, thankfully. But it was comforting to know that if I had been, we wouldn’t have been forced to become parents.

Bringing a life into this world is probably the biggest thing anyone can ever do. There are massive physical, mental, emotional, and financial tolls to having a baby. It’s not something that is safe, healthy, or practical for everyone. I don’t think that it should ever be something that’s forced on anyone. I believe firmly that anyone who can get pregnant should also be able to safely end a pregnancy, for any reason, no questions asked. Banning abortion is a direct attack on anyone who can get pregnant.

While the ruling to overturn Roe scares and outrages me, I honestly think I’m more scared for where it could lead. I can easily see this as a slippery slope that leads to them stripping other rights away. In a lot of states the GOP is already trying to infringe on trans people’s rights – making it illegal to provide gender-affirming care to trans kids, or trying to deny transition care to anyone under 25. It’s terrifying and barbaric. If the Court wants to strip away the right to abortion, I could see them trying to take back more LGBT+ protections.

I’m a queer woman. These rights that are being debated are my rights. And I’m really scared of seeing them stripped away in my lifetime. But it’s not just about me. This is going to hurt millions of people. And it makes the future terrifying. I worry about my brother, and how his rights are going to be affected. I worry about my two-month-old nephew; is the world he grows up in going to be a world that he can navigate successfully, regardless of how he identifies or who he loves in the future? If I do start a family, are my kids going to grow up in a world that could legislate their bodily autonomy? It’s a lot to think about, and at times it’s overwhelming.

I don’t know what the solution is. Fight like hell, I guess. Vote, because I still think that’s important, but also protest. Sign petitions. Financially support causes and organizations that fight for progress. There’s only so much anyone can do as an individual but I really want to believe that if more of us banded together, we’d make more progress. They’re hoping we just give up and let them do what they want to. We can’t let the monsters win.

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